Our Process
This isn’t complicated. It’s not some flashy or chest-thumping routine. It’s a quiet, proven process that has already changed my life, not mainly to make more money or get a promotion (though it helps with both) but to become the man God actually had in mind when he made me. We are created by not only a divine being but a father who loves us and desires us to seek Him and therefore understand our place in the world. That foundation is the foundation I’ve built my life and this work upon.
Truth:
“When we know the cross we are no longer afraid of the truth” Dietrich Bonhoffer
Nothing truly meaningful can exist in our lives unless we start with brutal honesty about who we are and where we stand. Here is the hard, uncomfortable truth, you and I are broken. Because of sin we deserve nothing good, nothing but death. It doesn’t matter how much success you’ve had or how much pain you have carried; without facing this, it is all wasted.
I know this sounds dark and on its own it would be. But here’s where everything changes, Jesus Christ stepped in, took the death we deserve and freely offers life instead. Every good day we get to experience, every loving relationship we get to be a part of, it is all an undeserved gift because of what He did for us.
This is not nihilism, it’s freedom. Realizing how broken we are makes what Christ did for us that much more amazing.
This truth provides us with the opportunity to gain perspective, which is the gateway to a new and abundant life.
Perspective:
The Merriam-Webster online dictionary shares that perspective is the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance.
Most often when we talk about perspective in the psychological realm we are actually talking about an idea called downward counterfactual thinking or affective contrast effect. These are the classic, and highly effective, “I am currently in a bad place, but here are all of these plausible ways that it could be worse”, emotional regulation strategies. This idea works, and is highly effective, but I want to offer you a deeper, more lasting shift.
Instead of focusing on how bad things could be, stop and realize how incredibly good things are even though none of us deserve it.
You and I deserve nothing but have been given everything. Life, love, food, shelter, freedom, and maybe even comfort or excess. You have what kings of old could ever imagine. All of it underserved. All of it is a pure gift.
Life may feel great right now, or it may feel crushing. Either way, the truth remains: it should be worse. Much worse.
When that reality sinks in, something powerful happens. You are set free to be grateful no matter what comes, because every good thing stops being something you are entitled to and becomes something you are stunned to receive. Something you are grateful for.
Gratefulness:
An honest perspective, seeing our brokenness and the undeserved grace we’ve received, naturally produces gratefulness. And gratefulness isn’t just a nice feeling; it is essential for a truly beneficial, flourishing life.
Why? Because there is substantial research showing that gratitude is a powerful force for good in our lives:
· Gratitude is one of the strongest predictors of lower depression and anxiety. (Wood et al. 2010)
· Grateful people sleep better, have lower blood pressure, and a stronger immune system. (Hill et al. 2013)
· Expressing gratitude in a relationship increases relationship satisfaction (Algoe, 2012) (Gordon et al. 2012)
· Gratitude buffers against PTSD and suicide ideation. (Kashdan et al. 2006) (Kleiman et al. 2013)
A grateful heart shifts our focus away from ourselves. It becomes the starting point for a life poured out in sacrificial love, service to others, and steady personal growth, not driven by self-focus or entitlement, but as a genuine response to everything God has freely given us.
It’s the path to real freedom and abundance. Not because we deserve it, but because we are finally awake to the gift. If we can believe that because of our own brokenness things aren’t great, but they should be worse. Be grateful for the fact that they aren’t, then I believe that the next logical step is intentional change that makes everything about our lives worth the sacrifice that is necessary to build a beneficial life.
Intentional Change:
We cannot fix what we will not name. It is necessary to identify specific areas of your life and build realistic goals for intentional change.
· Faith
· Family
· Fitness
· Friends
· Finances
· Career
· Service
Take a quiet moment and ask yourself:
How is this area of my life right now?
Which ones are drifting or outright broken and need the most attention?
What would better actually look like, not perfect, just meaningfully improved?
Then build small, sustainable goals for which areas you want to work on first. Make them specific, measurable, and realistic enough to stick with them when life gets busy.
Understand that better isn’t a finish line. It is an ever-receding horizon. As you grow, your vision of what’s possible grows too and so does the positive impact you can have on others.
Remember, this is not heaven. You will make progress and then slip back. Expect the setbacks, plan for them, and get back up faster each time.
We are here to walk alongside you as you build a life that honors the sacrifice that was made for you.
No more excuses. No more drifting. Let’s go!
References
Gordon, A. M., Impett, E. A., Kogan, A., Oveis, C., & Keltner, D. (2012). To have and to hold: Gratitude promotes relationship maintenance in intimate bonds. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 103(2), 257–274. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0028723
Hill, P. L., Allemand, M., & Roberts, B. W. (2013). Examining the pathways between gratitude and self-rated physical health across adulthood. Personality and Individual Differences, 54(1), 92–96. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2012.08.011
Kashdan, T. B., Uswatte, G., & Julian, T. (2006). Gratitude and hedonic and eudaimonic well-being in Vietnam War veterans. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(2), 177–199. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2005.01.005
Kleiman, E. M., Adams, L. M., Kashdan, T. B., & Riskind, J. H. (2013). Gratitude and grit indirectly reduce risk of suicidal ideations by enhancing meaning in life: Evidence for a mediated moderation model. Journal of Research in Personality, 47(5), 539–546. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2013.04.007
Wood, A. M., Froh, J. J., & Geraghty, A. W. A. (2010). Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 890–905.